I felt like back to square one again… sigh. As I got off my fasting and got back to regular eating, at first it was energetic, especially the first few days even with the occasional minor indigestion initially. As the days went by, I could feel my insides getting more and more congested. I was trying to have one last weekend of nice meals especially because it’s Mother’s Day weekend, then go back into a few days of water fasting to clear the system. Well, like deja vu, my body decided no more meals and proceeded to vomiting out of the blue AGAIN as we were cooking dinner on Saturday night! So… water fasting it is. I was totally pissed this time!!! 😡 I know it’s my brain tumors that have been messing with me. They are supposed to be all gone after the 2 week whole brain radiation, but I know they are not because I got headaches at different regions of my brain. This happened last time too, a few days of that and then I threw up. It turns out nausea and vomiting are typical symptoms of brain tumors. It did stop after the last water fasting and I think it had to do with the cancer activities slowing way down with water fasting. With eating on a regular basis again, cancer cells always outgrow healthy cells.

I am back on water fasting and this time I am going for the 21-day cell cycle like I had planned last time. I thought I had a reset, but it was very brief. This time, one of us will die, if it’s me, so be it, but I won’t let cancer send me on a yo-yo back and forth every other week. The good thing is I am stronger going into it this time and I know what to expect at least the first 7 days. I am not as apprehensive about the process. I believe my body still has a fighting chance and it can come back. Like my bursitis on my hip, it was painful for weeks, but once I got to physical therapy, it only took 2 sessions for me to work out the problem and it took a totally of 4 days for it to recovery completely. It just needs the right support. I really believe my cancer is the same way, but I haven’t quite figure out the right combinations yet. As long as I am alive and breathing, I still have a chance.

Over the weekend as I cooked our planned meals for the family without eating it, I thought it was such irony that they are enjoying my Mother’s Day dinner. It’s unthinkable for Chinese to choose not to eat. I remember there was a time in my life I would get hangry because a meal was late… lol! I think it’s in my genes. There must be hundreds and thousands of hungry ghosts in my ancestral line. Not a surprise considering Chinese history was full of famines mostly due to corrupt governments (somethings just don’t change I suppose 😜) My parents were the last generation to experience famine during the cultural revolution. I was born during the cultural revolution, naturally I am reluctant to do this.

I decided to dedicate this 21-Day water fasting to the entire ancestral line of hungry ghosts, may my fasting end the entirely family line of suffering related to food and may this body be made anew to serve the generations to come! It’s also fitting this cancer is a gene mutation, let it all end here.

I think this cat just used up another cat life! I am out of my fasting as of last night. I know many people are praying for me. Prayers answered!

The shift I was waiting for came only 7 days after the fasting! I thought it would take a lot longer or maybe never. I was willing to do it for up to 21 days, but my body made the shift!

The shift I was looking for was return of circulation and desire for food. It has been an absolutely amazing 7-day experience! (Not recommended, lol!) When the circulation returned yesterday, I felt like thousands of volts of electricity shot through my system, every part of my body was tingling not in a comfortable way. I felt like I had ants all over me! A minor sweat broke through at the same time. At first I didn’t know what was happening to me. All I could do was trying to get out of the discomfort. When it was over, I realized what had happened. I had not experience this myself before, but I have known lots of tai chi people did. When they open a blockage inside, usually during a workshop after we worked particular hard at something, they would tell stories of tingling sensations most often in their hands, sometimes in other parts of their body. It happens only when they break through a blockage. If there are no blockages to begin with, energy circulates and flows like a river, no bursting through any circuits needed, just a warm glow that’s comfortable. I have always been completely healthy and super flexible, that’s probably why I never felt it before, but this time it broke through with a vengeance!

After it was over, I felt hunger for the first time since I started this fasting. I have to move out of the fasting slowly of course otherwise I might create other problems for myself. I had David made me really thin rice soup and had half of a cup to start with. At first, I felt this pressure in my stomach, I thought I was going to throw up again! Thank God, it stayed down! I slept so well last night. I will keep increasing my food intake slowly.

A couple of other amazing things happened to me as a bonus. All of a sudden, my sense of smell sharpened! Don’t know what that is about. My sense of smell has never been that good, but now everything smells so strong, good and bad. It’s incredible!

The other unexpected bonus is my skin cleared up! My complexion brighten considerably almost overnight… or over 7 days I haven’t been really looking at myself in the mirror. As part of the fasting, I have been doing coffee enema everyday. I know as the body “consumes” the stored fat and tumors, it would be very toxic to my system. My liver would be overloaded. Coffee enema is used to cleanse the liver. I used it during my chemo as part of my routine. With my system completely emptied out after 3 days, I learned how important coffee enema really is. Every morning, I would wake up with a minor ache in my liver. It would immediately disappear after I finish coffee enema.

It will take me a few days to get back to a regular diet and regain my strength. I just want to make a post and thank you all of your support! I went into this extended water fasting not knowing if I would come out of it. Just goes to show you it’s not the end until it ends! There were so many times on this cancer journey I was overwhelmed by fear and frustration, but taking it one moment at a time, life shows the way. As my friend and mentor Alex used to say trading (in this case life) is like driving in the dark, all we see is what the headlight reveals. We can only make decision in the moment as it presents itself. All I need to do is keep going. Thank you for all your love! 💞

Today is one of our local instructor Sam’s 70th birthday. This would be my birthday gift to her. Thank you for being a friend and all that you have done for our tai chi group! May you have a wonderful decade ahead!