First of all, thank you for all your kind words and prayers. I appreciate you all in my life! I have not given up yet, I just don’t want to make things worse by poinsoning myself. I have to say by making that decision, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Even though I was handling chemo well, I didn’t realize how much I was dreading it. Now that I have no more chemo, I am so much happier and lighter. What a relief!
On top of that, I made the decision to allow my body do whatever it wants, eat whatever it feels like. I will never ever tell this body you should eat this or take this supplement because it’s good for you. If I ask it and it says, “no thank you”, that’s the end. I will not give this body anything to process and handle that it doesn’t ask for. Thankfully and somewhat surprisingly, it asks for vegan! This body simply has no intention of making itself suffer. No discipline needed!
I am in the process of going through brain radiation, so far so good. They scheduled me for a total of 10 treatments, I have done 4 as of today 2 the rest of the week and 4 next week. Then I am done. They told me brain tumors will be never be a problem for me again. Unless I have problem, they won’t even bother to have me for regular checkups! Very cool! Why didn’t they do this in the first place… oh, yes, there is this little caveat of turning my brain into mush. Since I don’t expect to be able to go back to work ever, I am fine with that. Next time I go to my tai chi class, I would just say, can I be in the middle please? LOL! (For those who don’t do tai chi, it’s an inside joke. The middle is reserved for new beginners who are not sure if they could remember the sequence of the set so if they get in the middle, they could follow everyone around them.)
The side effects so far has been manageable. I got some inflammation on my head, they prescribed steroids, I used CBD oil so far, it has done the trick. The other side effect is fatigue. They told me I would be tired, I had no idea I would be this tired! I have been taking 4-hour naps and sleeping 10-12 hours at night! I wasn’t going to fight it. Again, I let the body decide. If it wants to sleep, I am there. The rest of the time when I am not sleeping, I am not much better either, all I can do is sit around and practice the art of being a couch potato! 😝 Sometimes, Snowball, the cat, would come sit next to me. We are happy and content, feels like we have all the time in the world together. Every crazy cat lady’s dream life! 😍