Helena Trent

In Darkness Born the Light - My Journey From Mutation To Transformation

Back to tai chi

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I am happy to report I went back to tai chi class for the first time last night since my diagnosis! It felt good to be back doing tai chi. I am not quite ready to teach yet, but it was good just to be there with everyone doing tai chi! It’s so great to see everyone again and got lots of hugs. Words really can’t express how much I appreciate everyone’s love and support!

Listening to Joy

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I had my monthly appointment with my oncologist this afternoon. He is very happy with the progress I am making. No changes to medication, just keep doing what’s working. They scheduled me for a CT Scan and a brain MRI on January 4, then a follow-up appointment on January 9. That should give us some definitive answers to how much progress I am making and if any changes to my treatment plan are needed. 

Meanwhile, I am feeling much better, making progress gradually, going for walks when the weather permits and doing some tai chi practice more regularly. My energy level is improving… slowly but surely.

I am learning to pace myself. It’s hard for me to sit around and do very little, yet I can’t argue with the results. The free time, the rest has done wonders for my body. I was tempted to get back on a schedule, but was told (very wisely) not to. When we put things on a schedule, we go through the day on auto pilot… do this then that… even if they are activities good for us like tai chi, meditation, walk, etc. Once it’s on the schedule, it’s a thing to do. It may make us feel very productive especially in the short term, but it keeps us from having to “listen” to life’s calling. That’s how I got into trouble before, I was the master at fitting everything in… to the point my body had to say no to me in a big way. Now that I don’t have a schedule, I have to check in with myself and see what I want to do moment to moment. Throughout the day, I would ask myself, “what would give me the deepest joy?” whatever comes to mind, I would go do that. I am practicing living with joy so my body says yes to life. Cancer may end up not only saving my life but teaching me how to live more fully and joyfully. 

Freedom

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I have had another decent week under my belt. I continue to improve and my energy level is more stable this week. I have gained a few pounds back after losing 20+ lbs since this ordeal started.  My calcium level was very low because of the cancer in my bones were leeching calcium into my blood. With radiation treatments and lots of supplements, my calcium is now normal for the first time in months. I even started driving this week! It felt great to be out on my own again. It has been a couple of months since I drove myself anywhere. I stopped driving because I was on opioids for pain and didn’t trust myself to drive. Brett was job hunting and had time to drive me to my doctors’ appointments, etc. otherwise I would stay home. He got a job offer in Canton, OH about 2 hours away starting in first week of December. I am very happy for him. It also means I need to work towards regaining my independence again.

Now that I am generally feeling better, I have been reading and learning a lot about cancer and healing. I started back on some gentle tai chi practice again along with meditation and healing visualization. I am just starting to get a sense of how powerful our mind could be in the healing process. 

My favorite quote this week:

Illness is often nothing more than a healthy response to an unhealthy situation.

– Healing From Within
mind

Want to know something interesting about the mind in Chinese? The word “mind” doesn’t exist! In Chinese, the concept of mind is represented by two characters “heart” and “spirit”. When the heart and spirit energy are aligned, the mind is quiet. When they are out of balance, then the mind is turbulent. I am learning to listen to my body with my heart and paying attention to how it affects my spirit. Every major set back in my life has caused me to learn and grow as a person, cancer is no different. I am grateful for the learning opportunity… life and death it may be. Nothing like having death as the motivation to live! Lol!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I have you all to be thankful for in my life. You gave me the strength to face life when I had none and started me on my healing journey.