Listening to Joy

I had my monthly appointment with my oncologist this afternoon. He is very happy with the progress I am making. No changes to medication, just keep doing what’s working. They scheduled me for a CT Scan and a brain MRI on January 4, then a follow-up appointment on January 9. That should give us some definitive answers to how much progress I am making and if any changes to my treatment plan are needed. 

Meanwhile, I am feeling much better, making progress gradually, going for walks when the weather permits and doing some tai chi practice more regularly. My energy level is improving… slowly but surely.

I am learning to pace myself. It’s hard for me to sit around and do very little, yet I can’t argue with the results. The free time, the rest has done wonders for my body. I was tempted to get back on a schedule, but was told (very wisely) not to. When we put things on a schedule, we go through the day on auto pilot… do this then that… even if they are activities good for us like tai chi, meditation, walk, etc. Once it’s on the schedule, it’s a thing to do. It may make us feel very productive especially in the short term, but it keeps us from having to “listen” to life’s calling. That’s how I got into trouble before, I was the master at fitting everything in… to the point my body had to say no to me in a big way. Now that I don’t have a schedule, I have to check in with myself and see what I want to do moment to moment. Throughout the day, I would ask myself, “what would give me the deepest joy?” whatever comes to mind, I would go do that. I am practicing living with joy so my body says yes to life. Cancer may end up not only saving my life but teaching me how to live more fully and joyfully.