Helena Trent

In Darkness Born the Light - My Journey From Mutation To Transformation

Hope

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Happy New Year to everyone! I know I have not updated this blog in a while… mainly because I am now in the recovery phase where not much is happening except taking my pills. Nothing exciting is happening compare to the waves of ups and downs I went through the last few months. I so appreciate these calm days. I do feel better and stronger on a weekly basis since I am able to get back to tai chi. Each week I am able to do a little more and sustain my energy a little longer. I am back to teaching 30 minutes a week working with the beginner instructors. When I feel better, I will gradually get back into teaching regular classes, but for now, I take baby steps. 🙂

I had a new full set of scans last Friday. On Wednesday this week, I will meet with my oncologist for a follow up to see what the scan results are and what treatment(s) might need to adjust going forward.

At this point, I am really hoping nothing needs to be added. I am doing quite well, no pain, no complaints. I know cancer is still there, but at this point, life is quite manageable. I stopped worrying about dying and started to think about living more fully. One of my favorite Christmas presents this year is a coloring book called “Suck It Cancer!”. It has a motivational message with each coloring page. (Yes, I am taking baby steps and back to playing with coloring books like a toddler. lol!) One of the messages says:

Cancer is not a death sentence, but rather it is a life sentence; it pushes one to live.

SUCK IT CANCER coloring book

I am grateful for all the love and support the world has shown me. The last 45 years certainly has had its ups and downs, but it has been so great that I decided I will sign up for another 55 years of joy and sorrow and all. I still have more than half of my life ahead of me! 🙂

Onward and Upward

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This week has been a better week overall. I still had quite a swing in my energy levels. Some days I got up and I felt really good, almost “normal” and other days I got up I needed to go back to bed! It’s a good thing that I don’t have a lot of plans these days or more precisely I have very flexible plans. I go with the flow, eat when I am hungry and sleep when I am tired. If it wasn’t for the stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis, it’s a really good life. lol!

Eating and sleeping is usually not how I deal with life’s problems, but in this case, I am happy to be flexible. 🙂 I have had an extremely busy and stressful year, taking some much needed rest is just what I needed for my body and soul.

busy

I have always loved languages and cultures. There is so much wisdom in words. In Chinese, the character for busy looks like this. There are two particles. On the left is the symbol for heart. On the right is the symbol for death. Busy literally means death of the heart. Before my cancer diagnosis, my calendar was filled to the max day and night everyday of the week. I didn’t seem to find a way to clear my schedule to have some time to myself. How quickly things could change! It’s all in perspective! 

The Healing Power of Mother Nature

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Today I felt good enough to go out for a walk. The fall is in full swing, leaves are changing colors and falling. I have always love this time of the year. 

As I walked through the fallen leaves and relaxed into nature, I felt the energy of the earth beneath my feet. I started thinking about the earth energy, it takes death and decay and transforms it into new life when the season turns. I, too, this fall/winter, like a tree, will let go of all that no longer serves me, preserve my core strength, allow the healing power of mother nature to give me new life again.