Helena Trent

In Darkness Born the Light - My Journey From Mutation To Transformation

Listening to Joy

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I had my monthly appointment with my oncologist this afternoon. He is very happy with the progress I am making. No changes to medication, just keep doing what’s working. They scheduled me for a CT Scan and a brain MRI on January 4, then a follow-up appointment on January 9. That should give us some definitive answers to how much progress I am making and if any changes to my treatment plan are needed. 

Meanwhile, I am feeling much better, making progress gradually, going for walks when the weather permits and doing some tai chi practice more regularly. My energy level is improving… slowly but surely.

I am learning to pace myself. It’s hard for me to sit around and do very little, yet I can’t argue with the results. The free time, the rest has done wonders for my body. I was tempted to get back on a schedule, but was told (very wisely) not to. When we put things on a schedule, we go through the day on auto pilot… do this then that… even if they are activities good for us like tai chi, meditation, walk, etc. Once it’s on the schedule, it’s a thing to do. It may make us feel very productive especially in the short term, but it keeps us from having to “listen” to life’s calling. That’s how I got into trouble before, I was the master at fitting everything in… to the point my body had to say no to me in a big way. Now that I don’t have a schedule, I have to check in with myself and see what I want to do moment to moment. Throughout the day, I would ask myself, “what would give me the deepest joy?” whatever comes to mind, I would go do that. I am practicing living with joy so my body says yes to life. Cancer may end up not only saving my life but teaching me how to live more fully and joyfully. 

Keep On Keeping On

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I had my first appointment with my oncologist this afternoon since the hospital stay. They gave me a week off my Tagrisso to fully recover from all my nausea, diarrhea, lung congestion, etc. all the stuff I was dealing with during my hospital stay. They were concerned Tagrisso was adding to those side affects so they took me off it to be eliminate some variables. I had to confess I started back on Tagrisso as soon as I got home “against” doctor’s orders. I was feeling well enough and I wasn’t going to give cancer another week to work against me. I told him he was allowed to be mad at me, but he didn’t, he said he was happy I stayed on it. Whew! I am not in trouble… like  I am not already in enough trouble! lol!

He said the start of the treatments could be rough sometimes as we adjust to every individuals’ responses to medications, so I had a rough start especially with radiation. The treatment goal of reducing pain in my spine through radiation has been achieved. I am no longer in extreme back pain, so we agreed radiation is officially done.

Going forward, we will only do Tagrisso for the next couple of months to see if we could get to a stable period where the medicine can take effect. I will get blood tests every two weeks and stay on a good and easy routine. 

Tagrisso is the pill that blocks the gene mutation that produces cancer cells. During the hospital stay, with all the complications going on, they put me through several CT scans. Although they were not meant to measure the effectively of Tagrisso, the report did comment on slight shrinking of the tumor in my lungs and improvement on my nodules. Hopeful signs there.

My energy level has been up and down since my week long hospital stay. I am adjusting my activity levels as I can. Some days I am up, some days I am down. Generally speaking, I am getting better overall. I was able to do a slow set of tai chi here and there. It feels good to be able to get in touch with my body again through tai chi.

Almost There

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I had a rough day yesterday with a major set back. I couldn’t stop coughing, couldn’t sleep the night before, couldn’t get out of bed at all for the day. I felt like I was drowning in my own fluids, finally it dawned on me, maybe I was! I came in dehydrated so they have been pumping IV into me like there is no tomorrow, now that I am better, all that IV is too much for my system to handle. I decided to dehydrate myself from not drinking, it worked. My cough subsided and my system was functioning better. I told the doctor that this morning and they immediately took me off my IV. I am feeling so much better all day! 

Now I am off IV, off oxygen, my vitals are continue to do great! They even took me off all my antibiotics because none of the tests shown anything virus growing. I still don’t have the final results back from the last biopsy and it’s the weekend so not much is being done except to wait.

Hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday, they could make a decision going forward or let me go home. They took me off Targrisso, my main cancer fighting pill, the last few days in case it is the cause of some of my lung issues, that’s a big deal. It needs to be resolved before I can go home.