Helena Trent

In Darkness Born the Light - My Journey From Mutation To Transformation

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Art Therapy – Intention

May 26, 2019 by Helena Trent 3 Comments

Now that I am taking a step back from work in my profession which is building websites for small business owners, I decided to have a different creative outlet. When I was a little girl growing up in China, we didn’t have dance lessons, we had calligraphy lessons. 🙂

Chinese calligraphy is not just an art, it’s a way of expressing ourselves in the world. It teaches us form with personality. To write good calligraphy, it takes proper posture to allow “chi” to flow through from you to your arm to your hand to your brush and express onto paper. It’s a way of cultivating stillness and creativity at the same time. I loved it from a very young age, but as I grew older, my parents wanted me to do other more “practical and productive” hobbies. I gave up on calligraphy.

On my last China trip (like a decade ago), I bought myself a few brushes, an ink stone and ink stick, and some Chinese calligraphy papers. I dabbled with it for a little bit then life got in the way. They sat in a box and moved with me from city to city. Last week, I found them when I cleared out my closet. I decided to use it as my art therapy on my healing journey.

I started by writing the character “yi“, intention. We use this word a lot in our tai chi practice such as use intention instead of tension in your movements, etc. The Chinese culture and philosophy is very much based on intentions which I won’t go into it here. I wasn’t taught to set goals, I was taught to set intentions growing up.

The character yi is made up for 3 particles, top, middle, and bottom. Think of it as upper gate, middle gate, lower gate in the human body in energy practices.

stand

The top part means “stand, live, exist”.

light
light

The middle means “sun or light”.

heart

The bottom means “heart”. It even looks like a heart with 4 chambers and shaped like a heart.

Chinese character yi
Yi

Putting them altogether in calligraphy form: standing in the light as a heart centered human being. The heart is at the bottom to ground us on earth or in reality. Chinese characters are kinda like emojis (lol). One character says so much in meaning. As I wrote it over and over again, my mind is stilled and my heart is calmed.

Since I haven’t practiced calligraphy in decades, I feel a little childish writing them. Like a child that thinks their “art work” is the happiest thing to share with the world, I too, want to share this with you all as a thank you gift for walking this difficult journey with me. If you would like any of the characters I doodled, please fill out this form and I will send them to you. I will add characters as I go.

Filed Under: Wisdom Characters

PET Scan Results

May 24, 2019 by Helena Trent 1 Comment

As expected, the new spots on my liver are cancerous. I could have told him that 4 weeks ago, what else could it be at this point?!

Anyway, the waiting time gave me a chance to try out all these alternative treatments you all so generously helped me get. Although the results are not showing on the scan report yet, I think some great things are happening in my body, I could feel the difference, life coursing through my veins in every cell… maybe not all cells are on board just yet, lol, but they are turning around slowly but surely.

Meanwhile, when I told my oncologist all the alternative things I am doing, he dismissed them all as he was trained to do. I totally understand. In the last four weeks while I was determined to pursue alternatives that affirms my life energy, he is more determined to give me chemo treatments. The next step in the process is a liver biopsy which would determine if I have a different type of caner in my liver than in my lungs which is reasonable and I have agreed to do. When I asked for steps beyond that, chemo and radiation would likely be next on his agenda. I told him I will not do chemo and will not do radiation. Last time it almost killed me. He said if I don’t do something, I could be in trouble real soon. I told him if I did, then I will be trouble even sooner! He didn’t like that answer at all!! LOL!

Chemo to me is a last resort method which I will agree to if there comes a time that my physical conditions have deteriorated to a point that there is nothing to lose anymore, then that’s the time for drastic measures like chemo, but until then, it’s not my first choice or second or third… I am not going to choose to destroy my body out of fear. He is allowed to be as pissed off at me as he wants.

For the first time in my life (and yes, perhaps the last time in my life), I am willing to trust how I feel and that I am truly ok despite outside circumstances. Life is on my side. When I tune into my breath, it doesn’t feel fear, it just does its thing, breath in and breath out, calm and strong… as if to say, I am here, you are ok.

Filed Under: Medical Update

Healing Crisis

May 21, 2019 by Helena Trent 2 Comments

Tomorrow I will get my PET scan results. Good news? Bad news? Honestly it will not affect how I live and how I feel about life anymore.

The Chinese characters for crisis keep coming to me recently. The word has two characters in it. The character on the left means “danger”, the character on the right means “opportunity”.

What if the worst things that ever happened to me were the greatest opportunities I have ever been given???

This healing crisis has taught me so much about life, love, and just being human. It has expanded my life in ways I could not have imagined. I could not have been more grateful for the journey I have been led on (ok, forced into, lol!!!). If we had a choice, no one in their sane mind would choose this journey, yet, it is precisely healing crisis like this (or any other kind of crisis) that taught me there is a deeper truth to life than the ups and downs of circumstances we face. Life has a way of connecting us to our highest truth and deepest strength. I am given this opportunity precisely because I have the strength, the maturity, and the resources to heal.

What I saw as dark mountains to climb before are now bridges under a sunny sky. There is a reason I live in the city of bridges!!! Pittsburgh has the most bridges of any cities in the world! I am in the right place at the right time as my journey unfolds before me.

Filed Under: Inspiration

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