I know I have written plenty of “bad news” posts before, but this one is particularly difficult for me personally. Despite how well I feel, my scans not only showing the tumor is still there, but there are some signs of slight enlargement. On top of that, some abnormalities are showing in my liver that could be new metastases. At this point, they would not adjust any treatments yet, but will do a PET scan on May 16 to see if it shows radioativities or not. If so, they will follow up with a biopsy to see if it is cancerous.
Archives for April 2019
Resurrection Weekend
Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers! I feel soooo blessed by you all!
I had my CT & MRI scan yesterday as scheduled. Yes, the liquid they made me drink for the scans still made me sick, but I felt so much stronger this time. I made it through my day yesterday without being knocked down. 🙂
I won’t get my scan results until I meet with my oncologist on Monday morning. We will see what life has to say. Regardless how it turns out, I am feeling fabulous and humbled by this journey at the same time.
Exactly six months ago today, I spent the week in the hospital due to radiation poisoning. I was crashing so badly that I was on oxygen 24/7. They started talking to me about hospice care. I didn’t know if I was make it out of that hospital alive.
I was trying so so hard to breath, pulling in air, pushing my lungs. I could feel myself drowning and suffocating. All my life, I tried and tried so hard to do the right thing all the time. I decided I wasn’t going to die like that. I would let go and let life. So I stopped trying to breath… the moment I stopped trying and completely let go, life was breathing me… air in and air out, my lungs were expanding and contracting on their own. Shallow as they might be, but I wasn’t struggling anymore. For the first time in my life, I felt the ease (peace) and true relaxation I have always tried so hard to get to. Life was and is given for every breath at every moment, not because we tried, but because we are. Once I stopped trying to push my lungs and relaxed, my body miraculously came around, a couple of days later I was well enough to be discharged from the hospital and got better everyday since.
It has been a miraculous healing journey for me with the help of everyone since I got out of the hospital. With Easter around the corner, I feel like I am having a “resurrection weekend” of my own. Life is so resilient and the spring is renewing my energy. I feel so blessed by your love! Happy Easter everyone!